I bestow upon you a keepsake of my royal screw-up

Mint condition "I'm Sorry" bear.

Never cherished as a fond memory of "that fight we had" or "that money you embezzled" or "that time you told me my hairstyle made me resemble Rowlf the Dog".

Even Necklace Bear wants nothing to do with it.

Why do I get the feeling that every time one of these is gifted to someone, it ends up in a thrift store (or trash can, or bonfire) at breakneck speed?

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for forgiveness, but keeping one of these on my bed among my decorative throw pillows suuuuure does make it hard to forget...

Ravenous ravenous rip-off

I dunno about you, but when I’m so hungry that I’d classify myself as hungry hungry, being overly particular about what I’m about to ingest isn’t really on my radar.

Not these guys though.

With a name like that, they should probably be taking dainty bites rather than neck-stretching lunge-gobbles.

Shame on you for getting my hopes up, Picky Potamus. I thought I’d found a childhood gem.