Glorified pigeons

Don't mind if I don't.

These aren't even two turtledoves. No redeeming qualities. (And this coming from a bird person.)

Two spoiled dog

"I don't care how cute the pet store puppies were. The fact of the matter is, you should have consulted me first before bringing one home. Now I have to go and change the sign."

One sign fits all.

As the old saying goes...

Don't just sit there like a bunch of fruit pits on a log.

The decorative moss is a nice touch.

Also, the internal struggle that comes with decluttering one's house continues. Apparently this was deemed too good for the trash bin.

Not your grandma's doily (or maybe it was, and this is how she rolled, in which case, what were trips to grandma's like!?)

And here we have a swan doily. A black swan doily, at that. It is all kinds of creepy, if you ask me. Well made, but creepy. (Might I draw your attention to the eyes that I'm sure glow in the dark, and the razor sharp blood sucking beaks?) 

How and where does one display one of these in their torture chamber house?

You've gotta admit, though, that's some damn fine craftsmanship.

They're biding their time, waiting to ensnare some poor dopey child into their pineapple lace net of doom.

Cock-eyed Spaniel

Or a heavily barnacled seal. Can't quite decide which.

And the over-representation of unicorns continues

Gangsta Unicorn does his best thug pose.

Yes I see the flower and still called him a "he". He's a unicorn, for crying out loud.

We'll cherish the memory forever. Until we don't. And then someone else can.

"Hey Hun, it's me. I'm just out running some errands and I'm at the thrift store and, well, I forget. Did we go to Cancun in 2004? ... It was 2005? Are you sure? ... Shoot. So close..." *returns plate to shelf*

Don't miss the fibre-optic waterfall

I regret not plugging this in.

Shy swans,  combative doves, a waterfall, iridescent wings, flowers, gravity-defying clothing... I can't, for the life of me, picture this monstrosity on display in someone's house. Though I'd like to. Bet the opulent tackiness didn't end here.

"I think Michael Buble sang a song about us."

Does "World '3 on 3' Hockey Player Award" strike anyone else as being a rather vague distinction?

Pearlescent Bridesmaid doesn't care. She's desperate and looking for love. Tractor beams: locked on target.

Shellshocked

My that's a lovely... one of those.

She sells secondhand seashells.

There is no end to the wide array of seashell "art" out there in thrift stores, just waiting to be gawked at and made fun of admired and appreciated for the hours of painstaking labour that went into making it so atrocious breathtaking.