When handicrafts go bad

Hang us from your oven door.

Go on, do it.

And then late one night you'll hear something, turn on the bedside lamp, and there's my sister, lying on your pillow, staring at you with her vacant eyes.

She's a riot, that one.

I've said "shish kebab" too many times now. Sounds weird.

"Oh. Don't mind me. I'm just checkin' out your kebabs."

One more reason to visit Florida

I let out an audible snort when I spied this thing last week.

But then it hit me: This thing is genius.

Move aside, ketchup. We're only dainty dippin mustard and relish over here.

Anyhoo, file this one under "why didn't I think of this first?"

I think Oprah decorates with these things too

From here on out, I am giving away these kitchen towel holders as housewarming presents.

Googly eyes and all.

I don't think we use googly eyes enough in home decor these days. Picture all those nifty DIY projects you covet on Pinterest. Now add two independently roaming eyes to all of them. Every headboard, end table, throw pillow, wreath, feature wall...

Eh? Ehhh?

I'm tellin' ya, I'm on to something.

Thrift shops: where "As Seen on TV" products go to die

If you've ever wondered if you should go out and buy one of those Slap Chops you've heard so much about, I think I've got your answer.

Is it odd that this sight conjures up the lyrics of Weird Al "Help me, Mr. Popeil"? (The answer? No. There is never a wrong time for Weird Al song lyrics.)

 I feel a touch of hysterical laughter bubbling up as I realize this is but one thrift store's collection of these things.